*weak smile* I love you. I'll probably be back later on to comment... I don't think I'm quite ready to do a sum-up post at this point myself. I hope I will be.
Right now, honestly, I just want to be able to think of Benoit someday and think of "Benny"... not start imagining what happened last weekend. Not start thinking of pain. Not have tears come to my eyes. Not have my BennyMuse start screaming and tearing himself apart.
I want to be able to write him again. I want to be able to deal and accept and move on, or something, and I don't want it to be years from now.
I want Benny back, dammit. I don't want to lose two musi, along with someone I respected and loved.
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Date: 2007-06-27 11:33 pm (UTC)Right now, honestly, I just want to be able to think of Benoit someday and think of "Benny"... not start imagining what happened last weekend. Not start thinking of pain. Not have tears come to my eyes. Not have my BennyMuse start screaming and tearing himself apart.
I want to be able to write him again. I want to be able to deal and accept and move on, or something, and I don't want it to be years from now.
I want Benny back, dammit. I don't want to lose two musi, along with someone I respected and loved.